What do I really believe — The Polite Lies we tell Ourselves

I’m slow on the uptake, but I’ve come around to realize that there is a huge difference between what we say I believe, what I want to believe and what I actually believe. Some say that conversations on belief are just exercises in public relations and it is actions that are the real indicator. For eg: I might say or even believe that I am a compassionate person who wants to help the poor, but in reality I might not have gone beyond donating a few rupees to a beggar / charity my entire adult life — so do I really care about the poor or am I just lying to myself? Am I that afraid to take a honest look at myself?

Growing up I was told of the importance of public speaking — having grown up I am skeptical of those who can speak well. We have learnt to use words to virtue signal, to rationalize, to hurl accusations, to project the right image to impress others. Those who actually “do” have little need for words and I’ve seen that the reverse is also true. Maybe those who talk a lot are not just trying to convince you but also to convince themselves. Maybe we could all do with a little less “tawk”, a little less lies and more honesty to ourselves. Maybe then we will know what we actually believe.