Scaling Human Relationships

Abhishek Paul
2 min readOct 5, 2018

“Can you scale?” seems to be primary yardstick by which success is measured and I don’t mean in business alone. The number of followers on social media, the views / likes one receives on a post, etc seem to have a disproportionate influence on us. I still have to consciously stop myself from falling into this trap. For the longest time I was waiting for the Linkedin counter to hit 500 — Linkedin of all places! This despite being someone who has never been on Facebook, Instagram, etc. Explaining it away in terms of neuroscience, ie “dopamine effect” does little to help me overcome this dysfunctional behaviour.

I had to realize that scale need not only mean an increase in quantity, but could be looked at an increase in engagement, ie going deeper into the relationship. I would rather have lengthy and meaningful conversations with a few people than share superficial thoughts with a much larger circle. This also means being free of the feeling of inadequacy of not being a “networker”, “the life of the party”, “trendsetter”,etc.

Impact and success needs to be defined differently when we come to relationships or life itself. I can only be closer to my true self with a select few because I am not constantly thinking of pleasing / attracting a bigger circle. This is not an excuse to stagnate with a closed group, but rather choosing to grow in a different dimension and at a different speed.

May we all choose to scale deeply!