7 years on ………Remembering my Dad

“Then the jagged edge appears
Through the distant clouds of tears.
I’m like a bridge that was washed away;
My foundations were made of clay.

As my soul slides down to die.
How could I lose him?
What did I try?
Bit by bit, I’ve realized
That he was here with me;
I looked into my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.”

“My Father’s Eyes” — Eric Clapton

It’s shameful at times to realise that I have gone for days without thinking about him, the person who has shaped my life more than any other.

There’s so much I can write about and some of it has already been said, but today as I looked at the photos shared by my aunt, something very specific stood out — his willingness / ability to boldly do whatever was needed to be done. In doing so, he would take on much more than his share of giving (always done quietly), the snide comments that would be passed behind his back and the insincere speech of others who would take the credit.

But none of this stopped him from continuing to do what was right. I am now beginning to realize the extent of the load he was carrying uncomplainingly. I used to be angry to see folks hide behind him — who would privately agree with him but stay quiet publicly. He refused to let it affect his attitude (joyful and ambitious) nor his faith (it only became stronger).

He was never a man for fancy speeches, I believe it was because his brain worked faster than his mouth. He was always 10 steps ahead.

Knowing him, he would not want us to mourn his memory. After all this is the man who wanted his funeral to be a celebration! I only want to make him proud. I hope through the lives of my brother and me, people will still his spirit shining through and his annoyingly unique laugh echoing loudly.

While I might not consciously think of him everyday, I know that every thought and action of mine is a reflection of one of the boldest and most courageous men I have ever known. And I had the privilege of calling him, “Daddy!”.